Let’s Choose to Remember When “The Office” Was Good…In Other Words, Let’s Forget Steve Carrell Ever Left

16 May

Posted by: Alex

the office

When The Office came to America, I was one of those dedicated fans of the British version who thought that making an American version would never be as funny. I also thought that anyone who even dare believe that the American version would be equally as humorous was an ignorant slut. What can I say? Liking British anything makes you a little uppity. But enough people told me it was good, so I watched the first few episodes. And I thought it was stupid. They were just re-creating the British episodes, but not as well! I wanted to give it a fair shot, though, so I kept watching. It took a full season, I think, for The Office to come into its own, and once it did, I was hooked. Steve Carrell tried to be less David Brent uncomfortable and created the sweetly obnoxious and naively inappropriate Michael Scott that everyone came to love and root for.

Michael Scott

When Steve Carrell smartly decided to leave the show after season 7, things got weird. Characters kept leaving; additional characters, who added nothing, were brought in; and some of the writers decided that making Andy less likeable and having Jim and Pam have marital troubles was a smart move. It wasn’t! It made watching these last couple of seasons feel like a labor of love. I’ve given so many years to the show that I couldn’t just stop tuning in, but each episode made me cringe a little.

The Office is coming to an end tonight and you know how I get when things I once loved are ending: I write love letters to fictional characters. So, even though my heart isn’t with what the show is now, I want to reminisce on what the show once was. Because if you didn’t tear up when Jim and Pam got married or when Michael showed up at Pam’s art show, then you were probably out doing something social or improving society while I was on my couch crying and watching television.

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My Desperate Attempt to Channel Warm Weather

26 Apr

Posted by: Alex

This is what its come to.

I should begin this post by saying that for those of you reading this in any state other than Minnesota, you will find what I am writing to be inane. You may be thinking, “channel warm weather, you say? Why, I live in New York and we’ve had warm weather for weeks now!” First of all, stop talking like you are a character on New York’s version of Downton Abbey. Second of all, screw you! I live in Minnesota and it has been one f-ed up winter. And I am saying that as a person who loves the seasons and is meant to live in Minnesota. I am one of those people that goes along with the collective complaining because I don’t want to be left out of the fun (sidenote: this reminds me of Barney Stinson’s motivational office poster on How I Met Your Mother that says: ‘Conformity: it’s the one who is different that gets left out in the cold’), but inside I think the snow is really pretty and it doesn’t annoy me at all. And I like cold rainy days because then I can sit inside and not feel like I should be doing anything else. Forced laziness is my jam.

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Look at me, the fancy pants who watches documentaries.

12 Apr

Posted by: Alex

Marina

I don’t have much patience for a lot of things: shopping; animal videos; other people’s travel photos (unless they are of a person drunk, doing dumb stuff. Otherwise, I don’t need to see 17 photos of that tree you thought was life changing); student loan customer service representatives; paying attention in meetings; descriptive words in fictional writing (“The wind is the smell of my great grandmother’s favorite perfume before the war and it feels as cold as a popsicle I ate after I almost got hit by a car when I was 8.” So…it’s windy). Just to name a few. Something that shocks and disappoints people about me (read: my husband) is that I have very little patience for movies. This was not always my lot in life. Once upon a time, I would watch any movie at any time. I once watched Sneakers two times in a row, just for fun. This situation would LITERALLY never happen today (actually maybe it would. Sneakers is such a good movie). Once I hit my late 20′s, something in me changed. My attention span became shorter and shorter and I started getting resentful of the hours spent watching a movie I didn’t like, which was 99% of them. On top of my anger, I actually stopped being able to pay attention. I would drift off and start thinking about what I need to do or what I want to eat for dinner (which, to be fair, I think about all day, anyway), and I would miss major plotlines. I often will get to the end of a movie and have no idea what the conflict was or the name of any character. I’m on season 3 of Parenthood and I still call Lauren Graham’s character “Lorelai Gilmore” because I don’t know her name. None of these are things I’m proud of, but it’s who I am and I accept it.

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Laguna Beach – Where Are They Now?

29 Mar

Posted by: Alex

I was recently channel surfing and as I passed by E!, I noticed that they were about to take a commercial break from a special about Kristen Cavallari, aptly titled, Kristen Cavallari. My immediate thought was, “Is she dead?” Because why else would there be a special about Kristen Cavallari happening right now? Or ever, for that matter? I still haven’t answered that question, and I watched almost the whole thing. (To be fair, I always think everyone is dead when I see commercials. Remember that commercial where it starts out as a home video of kids opening their toys on Christmas, but then it switches to them happily playing at a water park or something? Each time I see that commercial, which is a million times, I say confidently, “those kids are dead.” And then about 15 seconds later, I say “Oh, wait. I’ve seen this. They’re just happier now that they’re at the water park.”)

Let’s get back to Kristen, now.

The special ended up basically being a tell-all about MTV and reality television and how it’s all bullshit. She outed Laguna Beach and The Hills on every plotline: Kristen was cast as the mean girl, even though she’s “very nice” in real life (if you have to say how nice you are, you’re probably not that nice); she didn’t really know Lauren Conrad outside of the show; Lauren and Stephen’s relationship was completely forced in order to create a love triangle between Stephen, Kristen, and Lauren; Kristen’s friends were bribed with $1,000 bags to insinuate, in front of the cameras, that Kristen was using drugs; the characters were constantly on their phones because producers were texting them with exactly what to say. The list went on and on. As someone who loves contoversial Hollywood dirt, I appreciated this special greatly and was thrilled to tell my husband that everything we had ever known was false. But the other part of me, the part that really likes believing that reality television is telling the truth, was a little shattered. A girl can only take so much, you know?

After the initial shell shock subsided, this special brought back many happy memories of naively watching Laguna Beach and The Hills week after week. It also made me wonder what has happened to all my bff’s! I mean…these reality characters that are not real. Let’s take a look, shall we?

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Who Runs the World?…Justin Timberlake Does.

15 Mar

jt snl

Posted by: Alex

Something dawned on me as I watched Justin Timberlake become a “5-timer” on Saturday Night Live last week – how is Justin Timberlake so mother$&!%ing talented and when did he start plotting to take over the universe? Let’s recap and find out.

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Academy Awards Highs and Lows

1 Mar

Oscars 2013

Posted by: Alex

When the Academy Awards started on Sunday, I was all amped up like I usually am on Oscar night. We typically host a tiny Oscar party, but this year we decided to keep it to just the two of us, as we would need to DVR the whole thing so we could pause it while we attempt to put our baby to sleep. We knew this would require approximately 400 pauses, so we chose not to host this time around. Instead, we ate Chinese take-out (we search for any excuse to have Chinese take-out in our house. “Ooh, the SAG awards are on! We should eat Chinese.” “Ooh, looks like Stassi might be an asshole again tonight on Vanderpump Rules. Guess we should eat Chinese,” etc.) and sat around in our comfies to watch the show.

I set up my computer in preparation for the funnies that would pour out of me as I watched the drama unfold. But as Seth McFarlane started his monologue, I noticed that my fingers were hunched over the keyboard, ready to type, and nothing was happening. I had nothing funny to say because I wasn’t thinking any funny thoughts. I was mostly thinking, “Huh. That is sort of amusing what he just said. I don’t think it’s hilarious or shocking, but I also don’t think it’s ridiculously stupid and embarrassing. I just think it’s fine.” And I felt that way throughout the entire broadcast. Seth McFarlane didn’t bomb the whole thing, he just kept it safe. He did enough to not be known as the next Dave Letterman (“Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma.” I actually think this joke was given a bad rap. It’s kind of amusing, if you think about it! Uma and Oprah. What kooky names. See? Is it funny now that I’ve explained it like that?), but not enough to be Billy “I’m here to save the day” Crystal. And I hope his prediction is correct that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will host next year, because that would be maj-ah, as Victoria Beckham would say.

So instead of a play by play, I’m offering some of my highs and lows. Keep in mind that many of my lows might be your highs, and vice versa. For instance, I have a deep dislike for Anne Hathaway that stems from nowhere, and these negative feelings tend to taint everything she says and does. But some people like Anne! Like, really like her! Not even as a practical joke on me! On the other hand, I love Barbra Streisand. Some people, for some reason, do not feel the same affinity towards Babs. I get that. But keep these things in mind, going forward.

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Happy Valentine’s Day Love/Hate Mix Tapes

14 Feb

Posted by: Alex

V-day Card

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends, family, lovers, and acquaintances! I used to believe that the best way to express feelings to another person was through a mix tape. These days I’m more partial to bottles of wine and some alone time, but I still love a good mix. My friends and I exchange them regularly, to this day, and I like to make them for myself to get pumped up when I’m doing things I don’t want to do, such as going to the first day of a job or shopping at the Mall of America.

Just seeing the sign outside makes me uneasy.

Just seeing the sign outside makes me uneasy.

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