Posted by: Alex
I was recently channel surfing and as I passed by E!, I noticed that they were about to take a commercial break from a special about Kristen Cavallari, aptly titled, Kristen Cavallari. My immediate thought was, “Is she dead?” Because why else would there be a special about Kristen Cavallari happening right now? Or ever, for that matter? I still haven’t answered that question, and I watched almost the whole thing. (To be fair, I always think everyone is dead when I see commercials. Remember that commercial where it starts out as a home video of kids opening their toys on Christmas, but then it switches to them happily playing at a water park or something? Each time I see that commercial, which is a million times, I say confidently, “those kids are dead.” And then about 15 seconds later, I say “Oh, wait. I’ve seen this. They’re just happier now that they’re at the water park.”)
Let’s get back to Kristen, now.
The special ended up basically being a tell-all about MTV and reality television and how it’s all bullshit. She outed Laguna Beach and The Hills on every plotline: Kristen was cast as the mean girl, even though she’s “very nice” in real life (if you have to say how nice you are, you’re probably not that nice); she didn’t really know Lauren Conrad outside of the show; Lauren and Stephen’s relationship was completely forced in order to create a love triangle between Stephen, Kristen, and Lauren; Kristen’s friends were bribed with $1,000 bags to insinuate, in front of the cameras, that Kristen was using drugs; the characters were constantly on their phones because producers were texting them with exactly what to say. The list went on and on. As someone who loves contoversial Hollywood dirt, I appreciated this special greatly and was thrilled to tell my husband that everything we had ever known was false. But the other part of me, the part that really likes believing that reality television is telling the truth, was a little shattered. A girl can only take so much, you know?
After the initial shell shock subsided, this special brought back many happy memories of naively watching Laguna Beach and The Hills week after week. It also made me wonder what has happened to all my bff’s! I mean…these reality characters that are not real. Let’s take a look, shall we?
Lauren “LC” Conrad
I would argue that LC has been the most successful of the Laguna Beach-ers. First of all, she was the only one to get her own spin-off, my beloved The Hills. She has created three different fashion lines that include Lauren Conrad and LC by Lauren Conrad. Don’t even joke about them being similar. They are not, I’m sure. Prior to that, she wrote a NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING BOOK about a girl who moves to L.A. to work in fashion and has a reality show. That is why I am going to write a book about a girl who stays in St. Paul and decides to write a blog about other people writing books. Did I just hear a knock on the door? I think that was Tom from the New York Times. I should really answer that…
That’s right. Kristin went and got herself pregnant. That’s what happens when you don’t get the reality show you wanted. I kid. Good for you, Kristin. You have a very cute baby and I am happy for you.
Kristin actually did nab herself a spot on The Hills when Lauren decided to leave in 2009. And she drummed up some drama by (not really) dating Audrina’s on again/off again boyfriend Justin Bobby. (I remember laughing every time I thought of his name when he started on the show, but now it just slips off the tongue like everyone has two first names). After The Hills, Kristin went on Dancing With the Stars like every self-respecting reality star should do. Kristin briefly (as in, 2 episodes briefly) hosted a reality show on UPN about throwing parties for people in need. I am as shocked to say, as you are to read it, that it was cancelled. I bet it’s because these people needed money and jobs instead of parties. But I’m kind of a party pooper, so…
And then she got her very own special on E! Please see above.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. You little heart breaker. Stephen caused a lot of heartache in the OC. I mean, look at those smoldering eyes! How could he not? Poor LC loved him (because the producers told her to), but he was always with Kristin. Isn’t that always just the way it goes. But since Laguna Beach ended, Stephen has parted ways with both LC and Kristin and instead dated actual celebrities, such as Hayden Panettiere and now Chelsea Kane (who my hairdresser knows as the actress whose picture I brought in as my unrealistic hair goal). Stephen was briefly a VJ on Total Request Live (the best job ever?) and then moved on to being a series regular on One Tree Hill until it ended last year. Those smoldering eyes really took you far, Stephen. Well done, genetics.
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth
Lo was mainly known as Lauren’s sidekick. Case in point – who even knew her name was also Lauren? She had to shorten it in order for Lauren Conrad to be the one and only Lauren. That’s like what I had to do with Alexandra, Daughter of King Priam and Queen Hecuba of Troy (it’s really hard to find an example of a famous Alexandra that isn’t royalty from a really long time ago, ok?? Other than one minor star from Baywatch). Lo and LC got into a tiff, apparently caused by the one and only Jen Bunney, which caused them not to speak for 2 years. But then they hugged it out at sushi one night and Lo made it onto seasons 2-5 of The Hills. She recently had a blog of her favorite things called The Lo Down (I mean, that’s pretty good. You have to give her credit for that one) and a book about dating and love called…The Lo Down. Okay, maybe once was enough, Lo.
Remember Talan? I don’t. This picture shows him with a surfboard, so I’ve used my context clues to surmise that he surfed on occasion. Talan went on to get a real job in social media and web marketing consulting. That seems like a fancy way of saying you run a website, but who am I to say. How do I know this, you ask? Talan has a LinkedIn profile. I think people who were once on TV having LinkedIn profiles is mind blowing, for some reason. And he doesn’t even mention that he was on Laguna Beach!!! If I were on TV, my entire profile would just consist of the name of the TV show in a giant font, taking up the whole page. And then at the bottom it would say, “Enough said.” Fun fact: he dated Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls. That wasn’t on LinkedIn either, though it should be.
Remember Travis from Clueless? He was the pot smoking, skateboarding, do-gooder that Tai falls in love with by the end, after she realizes he’s cool and not a “loser virgin who can’t drive” like Cher. That was Trey. He put on charity events in Laguna, and performed in coffee shops, and probably smoked the marijuana fairly regularly. He was adorable. Trey ended up at Parson School of Design and is now an Associate Designer for Vera Wang. Well played, Trey. Well played. He also started a project called City Love, which asks people to make art that represents their city and what it means to them. Of course he started this. Trey went to coffee shops! Being cool is in his blood, man.